L(ego) and Write...

Ego. I never thought of myself as having one, until my writing professor explained "writer's block" to my English 74 class. "Writer's block is created because of our ego," he said. As writers, we doubt our ability to capture the reader's attention. We form in our minds the reader's opinion before they get a chance to make their own. We are too afraid to begin writing because our ego tricks us into thinking what we start to create is not good enough.

Writing is my escape. Yet, lately it has been difficult for me to write. Since December I have been writing on the 12th of every month, but back in August I had the hardest time coming up with a post. I wrote again in September, but I still felt like I had lost my touch with writing. I used the concept of "writer's block" as my scapegoat. To justify my inability to come up with a captivating post.

"Maybe I don't have what it takes to be a writer," I thought.

"EGO," I heard him say in class.

I looked around the classroom. How does he know? Do I really have an ego? Wow, I have an ego and it doesn't only interfere with my writing. It interferes with other aspects of my life too. I'm always striving for perfection. Everything I do has to be done well and it has to be done right. What's wrong with that? Nothing. Everything. I get so caught up in wanting to be the best student, the best friend, the best writer, that I forget to be free.

Writing is my escape. Yet, lately it has been my prision. I've kept my thoughts, ideas, stories, poems, metaphors, and quotes to myself. Thinking none were original. Thinking none were exciting. Thinking none were meaningful. I'm always thinking about the reader (others). Always trying to protect their feelings. I want to give them what they want. Laughter. Joy. Pain. Tears. Smiles. Terror. Thrill. After all aren't the readers the reason I'm writing? I'm so consumed by the reader's opinion and I don't even have any words written in front of me. This is not working.

I don't like this ego thing...

So this post is to letting go of my ego. To getting rid of writer's block and remembering the reason I started this blog in the first place. To let people in my mind and become the writer I have always wanted to become. This is the beginning to a new start for my blog.

Citations: Image taken from google.