You Truck Us....

Happy Halloween! This has been one of my favorite holidays from a very young age. Not only because of the candy and being able to dress up, but because it was a time when all of my cousins gathered at my grandma's house and we would go out together. Some of my favorite memories with them come from those nights when together we would face the Haunted House of Browns Valley. I'll never forget the time my cousins and I gained the courage to go up the stairs of a house that was giving out King Size Chocolate bars. We had just survived the Haunted House three houses before so we were somewhat jumpy, but we could not pass up the treats waiting for us at the top of the stairs so off the little brave souls we went..."BRRRRRROOOOOM ROOOOOOM BRRRROOOOM," came the sound of the chain saw behind us. I can't speak for my cousins, but I felt like everything around me was moving in slow motion. My heart felt like it was going to pound itself out of me and safety felt so far away. I have never been more terrified! I was so happy when I finally made it to the ground. I ran to my aunt who after asking if I was okay, couldn't help but laugh for the longest time. I was not amused, that masked man came out of no where and I do not enjoy being scared! So why do I like Halloween again?

There's just something exciting about getting together with people you care about and dressing up in costumes. Even when I got older, my family continued to be into Halloween. We used to have a costume party and of course there was a contest for the best one. What made it fun was that everyone got into character of their costume! There's a certain happiness in being silly and ridiculous," and I would say Halloween gives that to me every year. Even being away at college, I look forward to dressing up with friends and seeing what creative ideas we all come up with every time.

Plus it's the one time a year girls can eat all of the candy they want and other girls can't say anything about it. ;p "You go, glen coco!."

Have a safe and fun Halloween friends!!

Here's a funny/cute must see Halloween Video:
http://youtu.be/uMuorX2mgrw

Don't for a second think I have forgotten...

Don't for a second think I have forgotten.

No, I know what today is...

It's just that I don't need it to be the 12th for me to remember her.

To remember those days in December ten months ago.

Everyday is a struggle whether it's the 12th or not.

You see me smile, laugh and play.

You see me clean, work, and study.

But you don't see me when I pray.

Only God knows the inner cries of my heart.

The struggle of learning to live in a world without her. 

Don't for a second think I have forgotten.

No, I know what today is...

It's just that I miss her and it's really hard to explain.

Words can't capture even a centimeter of what it feels like to miss her more and more every day.

But her biggest fear was that she'd eventually be forgotten.

So as long as I can, I'll continue to write.

I'll continue to share.

You see me smile, laugh, and play.

You see me clean, work, and study.

But you don't see, those are things she taught me.

Her memory motivates me every day.

She's gone, but really, she's not.

So don't for a second think I have forgotten.

I never will.

<3

Senioritis: It never completely goes away...

Senioritis. I was never officially diagnosed with it in high school, but I had almost all of the symptoms: lack of motivation to study, repeated absences (pretty sure spring semester I missed every Monday six weeks in a row), over-excessive wearing of sweatshirts and ugg boots with a ponytail. I guess I didn't get Regina George's memo back then about only wearing sweatpants on Fridays and my hair up once a week. It probably helped that most of my friends were on the same boat as me, so I was still allowed to sit with them at lunch.

As I look back though, it probably wasn't one of my best times as a student. I don't remember a time when I didn't have an excuse for not having my Physics homework completely done or in on time. More importantly, how I received the academic award for that subject. It was probably the teacher's way of making me feel better for having survived his class taken my "condition." Although, I did enjoy that class... when I wasn't absent. I mean who doesn't like to learn about Kinetic energy?

Graduation was certainly the best antibiotic for this disease. Since June 2010, the nerd student in me was healthy again. The quarter system didn't scare me at SCU. In fact, it fit my personality. Fast paced and efficient. If a paper was due week 5, I was in the professor's office hours week 2 asking for more details and feedback on my outline. By week 3 I had a draft, and week 4 I was simply waiting for the due date to roll around for me to print the paper and turn it in. 

But oh how things have changed once again. I didn't think it would be possible to have it more than once. I thought it was like chicken pox- you get it once and you're safe. How naive I was my friends! It's week 3 and I think I have caught it again...

Thankfully the diagnosis was made early this time around. There are some steps I can take to help it from spreading. Working out is highly recommended. Less T-Bell/Panda Express runs with my housemates wouldn't hurt either. That will take care of the laziness and make it easier to resist naps during the day, giving me more energy and time to do homework. Spending more time in the library would help as well. Deleting Facebook was recommended too, but they thought as long as I did the first two I should be on my way to a speedy recovery.

So this post is for all of those Seniors out there, both in high school and college. The struggle is real, but you're not alone!


Citations: Picture taken from Google images

L(ego) and Write...

Ego. I never thought of myself as having one, until my writing professor explained "writer's block" to my English 74 class. "Writer's block is created because of our ego," he said. As writers, we doubt our ability to capture the reader's attention. We form in our minds the reader's opinion before they get a chance to make their own. We are too afraid to begin writing because our ego tricks us into thinking what we start to create is not good enough.

Writing is my escape. Yet, lately it has been difficult for me to write. Since December I have been writing on the 12th of every month, but back in August I had the hardest time coming up with a post. I wrote again in September, but I still felt like I had lost my touch with writing. I used the concept of "writer's block" as my scapegoat. To justify my inability to come up with a captivating post.

"Maybe I don't have what it takes to be a writer," I thought.

"EGO," I heard him say in class.

I looked around the classroom. How does he know? Do I really have an ego? Wow, I have an ego and it doesn't only interfere with my writing. It interferes with other aspects of my life too. I'm always striving for perfection. Everything I do has to be done well and it has to be done right. What's wrong with that? Nothing. Everything. I get so caught up in wanting to be the best student, the best friend, the best writer, that I forget to be free.

Writing is my escape. Yet, lately it has been my prision. I've kept my thoughts, ideas, stories, poems, metaphors, and quotes to myself. Thinking none were original. Thinking none were exciting. Thinking none were meaningful. I'm always thinking about the reader (others). Always trying to protect their feelings. I want to give them what they want. Laughter. Joy. Pain. Tears. Smiles. Terror. Thrill. After all aren't the readers the reason I'm writing? I'm so consumed by the reader's opinion and I don't even have any words written in front of me. This is not working.

I don't like this ego thing...

So this post is to letting go of my ego. To getting rid of writer's block and remembering the reason I started this blog in the first place. To let people in my mind and become the writer I have always wanted to become. This is the beginning to a new start for my blog.

Citations: Image taken from google.