Grandma's Watching

When I lay down at night I think about my day. 

I look for the moments that made it a good one.

But it's hard not to focus on the ones that kept it from being a great one.

I wonder if she's watching. 

If grandma's watching, would she be proud of me?

I look out the window and look to the stars. 

Where's the brightest one?

That's got to be her. 

That has to be grandma watching.

Grandma,

If you're watching I hope you can see past it all.

I hope you focus on the good intentions. 

You mean more than words can explain.
Your opinion of me matters.
I know you are watching.

So I promise to always strive to be the person you taught me to be.

You make me want to be a better person.

And for that I will always be grateful.

I'm not exactly sure where you have gone.

But I know you're watching. 

You're my grandma and I know you would never actually leave me.

I love you and I miss you.
I promise to make you proud. 
To make your watching worth while.

And then I close my eyes.
While I wish she was still here,
At least I know my grandma's watching
Over me and my family
And knowing that my grandma's watching
I can for a moment feel safe in this world without her.

<3

3 months.