Two weeks. Too long!

After two weeks of playing house and mom, I'm so glad I get to have my momma back home! She recently went on a trip to the Holy Land and Rome with 74 others from the St. John's Catholic Parish. Her having the opportunity to visit the historical places of Our Lord was a dream come true for my mom and I am so thankful she was able to make this trip of a life time!

Even though I was a little more used to not seeing my mom weeks at a time while I was away at school, it was still hard not having her around those weeks. I think it was also hard because at least before, even if I didn't see her, I could to talk to her on the phone. We talked twice for like 5 minutes each time in the whole two weeks she was gone. It definitely made it feel longer than two weeks.

My mom being gone opened up a few things for me. The first, which is sad, was thinking how life would be without her. I think everyone in my house couldn't help but think about that. How different our lives would be...how empty. Less laughter. Less joy. Less compassion. Less love.

Taking on some of her responsibilities while she was gone also made me realize how much more awesome my mom is! After the first morning of my brother not liking the breakfast I made him because the eggs didn't have enough salt, I gave up waking up early to make a breakfast. I simply made sure there was cereal and milk. My mom wakes up every morning to make breakfast for everyone even when the morning before someone or all of us were picky about what she made.

And then it hit me. I consider my mom my best friend and to be really close to her. I am proud of the relationship we have developed over the years, but in these two weeks I realized how sometimes that can become an illusion in my mind because I'm not often in action showing her the love she deserves. This was a powerful realization and inspired me to be committed to show her how much she means to me every day. I am a lucky girl to have a mom like her. So this post is dedicated to her because she deserves to be acknowledged!

The house feels so much more like home now...just missing Eric and grandma. <3

Red, Yellow, Greentegrity!

Hello family and friends. I know it has been a while since my last post. Between taking my last set of finals, graduating, moving back home, and working full time I found it difficult to find time for writing. Adjusting from my life in college of being independent and always on the go to moving back home and being in one place 8 hours five days a week took some time. When I was at Santa Clara I was used to being busy from the moment I woke up until the very late hours of the night, but it was always with different activities and classes. Working full time was challenging for me because I was in one place for 8 hours of my day five times a week and I couldn't walk everywhere as easily as when I was on campus. I think it was also hard because I wasn't really enjoying what I did. Thankfully, I made the decision to leave my job and am now working as a Social Worker for the County of Napa. I supervise visits between children and parents. So far it has been a humbling experience and I am excited to see how this role will nourish my passion for social justice and for making a difference in my community.

It also has been great having my license! I don't have my own car so the amount of driving I have done on my own hasn't changed too much, but it feels good to finally have my license. It took me seven years to get it, but in the last month before getting it there was a shift in my view of life that helped me finally get it. I have been taking a seminar called Causing the Miraculous. In this seminar I have received tools to let go of my past and look at the future as a possibility. I have also been working with the tool of integrity. The part of the definition of integrity that stood out to me was the part where it says,"integrity is making promises you don't know how to keep." At first I thought, "Why would you make promises you don't know how to keep?" But what I got and was powerful for me is looking at the kind of person you become in working to honor your word.

When I received my job offer with the County I did not have my license and this time I could not get away with not having it. I would need it to pick up and drop off kids for their visits. Thankfully, I had scheduled my appointment a while back and it happened to be four days before my start date. But I was cutting it close and the possibility of failing was there and if I did...."STOP, you can do it. Practice every day," I told myself. And I did. I practiced more in the two and half weeks before my test than I did the entire 7 years of "trying" to get my license. I was definitely a different person as I worked to honor my word that on October 23, 2014 I would PASS my license test. I even felt more confident taking the test this time around than the last time I took it. I still made mistakes on the test, but my new confidence showed the driving instructor I was ready to get my license!

Learning about integrity and practicing to honor my word has not only helped me with getting my license, but also with seeing the areas of my life where I am out of integrity and restoring it. Not writing on my blog since May 22 is being out of integrity because I've said before that I would post more often and I haven't. There's no need to beat myself up for it. I just wanted to acknowledge it, hold myself accountable and promise to honor my word of blogging more often. How does once a week sound? I have a commitment to share with you in hopes of spreading inspiration and love in the world! <3