To my momma in heaven and my momma on earth...

Mother's Day has always been one of my favorite days of the year. When I was younger, my dad would take my two brothers and I to the store to pick out presents for our mom. Since we were 4, 5, and 9 without money, we would take suggestions from our dad about which gifts to get her. Being young and naive, we thought cleaning supplies and kitchen utilities were great ways of showing her how much we appreciated everything she did for us. And it also helped that our dad genuinely thought they were great gifts too.


My mom has never been materialistic, but let's be honest, who wants to get Windex and a cleaning supply holder as a gift? Thankfully, as we got older, we began having more freedom with the gifts we were able to choose from and eventually collaborated our savings to get her something really nice. I enjoyed being sneaky about the handmade gifts we got to make in elementary school too. I liked going all out and making the most colorful flowerpot possible. I enjoyed the look on her face when she read my cheesy letters. I liked working with my siblings to put together a breakfast-in-bed surprise even though we usually ended up eating most of it ourselves. I loved that it was a day to celebrate one of my greatest blessings. I don't know what I would do without my mother...


But for the first time in my life, the day I so loved celebrating has become bittersweet. Five months ago today, my mother lost her mom and I'm torn with how to face this day. I want to let my mom know how much she means to me and how grateful I am to have her in my life, but my heart aches at the thought that this is the first year she cannot physically do the same with her mom. I couldn't imagine. Although, I can because my grandma was like a mother to me too. It will never be the same with out her. Every gathering, I'll always look for the chair she would be sitting in. I'll always miss getting up when she entered the room to help her get to that seat. I'll always picture her smiling and constantly asking me if I already had something to eat or to come have some of hers. I'll always remember the last mother's day I got to spend with her. She was sitting on the bench outside my house. My siblings and I gave her flowers and a card that we read out loud to her. She started crying and when we asked her why she was sad, she looked at us and said,"I just hope I'll get another mother's day with all of you again, but I don't know." If you would have asked me then, I would have told you she had many more mother's days with us. I didn't see it coming and now I'm left to face a series of "firsts" without her.

And yet, although today is hard, I'm still convinced that no matter where she has gone, she is not too far and she will help us all make it through. And I need to remember she left a lot for me to be thankful for. If it hadn't been for her, I wouldn't have the wonderful mother that I have, a reason to have loved celebrating mother's day in the first place. So this post is for her, my momma in heaven and for her daughter, my momma on earth, both my reasons to smile.

Gracias y Feliz Dia de Las Madres, Abuelita.

<3

I'd also like to keep Mrs. Kelly in my prayers on this day. Love you Mike <3