A month's eternity...

It's only been a month.

A month since the recalling of the memories began.

Memories I hold on to because it's all that is left.

All that is left are those moments we spent together.

Those moments that now don't seem enough.

They don't seem enough to fill this eternity.

This eternity that leaves my heart anxious.

Anxious because I don't know if

I'm more afraid of the day I won't remember 

Or the thought that it will never stop hurting.

That it will never stop hurting and even the best day

Won't be the best anymore because she won't be there.

She won't be there when I come home.

When I come home I'll be reminded of it all again.

Reminded that she won't be there for my next birthday.

My next birthday won't be the only thing she will miss.

She will miss things like me getting my license.

Getting my license will now be less exciting.

Less exciting because I'll never get to give her a ride.

Give her a ride to the store.

To the store where she bought her favorite candy.

Her favorite candy consisted of some kind of chocolate in it 

And she never went without it.

It's only been a month.

A month since the start of this eternity.

This eternity that changes everything.

Everything is so different.

Different because she is no longer here.

No longer here to see me walk at graduation.

Graduation was something she wished came sooner.

She wished it came sooner because she knew her time was limited.

Her time was limited and it all happened so fast.

So fast that it doesn't feel real.

It doesn't feel real even though it's been a month.
A month since she told me it wasn't her, it was destiny.

Destiny sure has bad timing.

Timing I will never understand.

Never understand because I wasn't ready to let go.

I wasn't ready to let go of one the best women I have ever known.

I might smile, but my heart is in a knot.

A knot that is impossible to untie.

Impossible to untie because she is the only one who can fix it

And she's no longer here to help me do that.
To help me feel true love.
True love she gave me unconditionally.

It's only been a month.

A month measured in calendar days
Calendar days that to most go by fast.

But measured in mine, it's been a month's eternity.

A month's eternity without her.

In memory of my loving grandmother.

<3