What If...

Over the weekend I went to see a really good friend perform at the Opera House in Napa. The show was incredible. All of the dancers did an amazing job. It made me want to be a dancer. When I was younger I took a couple dance classes here and there, but like everything that I start, that didn't last very long.

I use to play soccer and was really good, but once it started getting more competitive I decided I didn't want to do that anymore. I then started playing basketball, but again stopped once I started high school. I played the piano when I was younger, was also pretty good for never actually taking lessons, but after a while didn't continue with it either.

I could go on and on about all of the things I have tried, but I would rather not because it's easy to look at those phases as my inability to finish something that I start and that certainly is not a self-esteem booster. I know I had the potential to be really good at all of the activities I tried if I would have kept at them (well basketball would have been a reach because of my height), but I know that being a professional athlete or musician was not what I was meant to be. Still I find it hard not to wonder how things would have turned out if I would have kept playing soccer or if I would have kept taking dance lessons. Would continuing with either of those activities made a significant change in my life? I look at other people who have accomplished great things because of their dedication to their hobbies or favorite activities and I can't help but wonder how not really having one at this point in my life will affect my ability to someday do something great and meaningful.

I know I'm not the only one who gets caught up in the"what if..." moments. It's part of being human, but one thing I need to realize more often is that what I DO is far less important than WHO I am. At the end of the day it doesn't matter how many things I have accomplished, if who I have become is someone who is unpleasant to be around. I know my actions are not always going to align with my beliefs, and how I think about a certain topic may change a year from now, but I'd like to think that as long as I can find a way to remember who I really am, that I will be safe in this world. So this post is to the phases that help us learn more about who we are, what matters and how we see ourselves.


Picture Citations: Cat Looking In Mirror as Lion. http://everdaylittlethings.blogspot.com/2010/07/what-matters-most-is-how-you-see.html